Whever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.

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Conflict • Funny
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

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Truth
The following statement is true. The preceding statement is false.

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Honesty
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

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Sports
Baseball is the only major sport that looks backwards in a mirror.

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Art and Music
People who dance are considered insane by those who can’t hear the music.

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Doctors and Health
Where does the dentist go when he leaves the room?

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Imagination
I’m a visionary; I’m ahead of my time. Trouble is, I’m only about an hour and a half ahead.

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Art and Music • Religion
The only good thing to come out of religion was the music.

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Religion
If God is so powerful, can He make a rock that is so heavy that He Himself can’t lift it?