whatever Report This Comment Date: January 15, 2015 09:09AM
Fuckin' idiot capitalist POS...
jimeoin Report This Comment Date: January 16, 2015 02:49AM
Politics Explained
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a
barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The
government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put
them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken
farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the
chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the
regulations say you need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of
them and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them,
and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the
government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and
shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell
you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can
feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it
takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then
it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or
your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a
bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica
lessons.
(Original source unknown . . . this version expanded and Illuminated by SJ.)
pulse Report This Comment Date: January 16, 2015 09:30AM
I'll take Surrealism thanks.
BlahX3 Report This Comment Date: January 16, 2015 03:25PM
Firesign Theatre-ism:
You cut off the soles of your shoes, sit in a tree and learn to play the flute.
After that you put on a wide belt, grab a guitar and lead sing-alongs about
mountains, mud, pussy cats and Elmer Fudd.
Duude Report This Comment Date: January 17, 2015 09:30PM
Stoner: Sit back, smoke a fat one, hang out with your cows.... whether there
are really any there or not.
BlahX3 Report This Comment Date: January 18, 2015 03:25PM
Goats, sheep and ponies seem thematic here, so why not cows as well?
pulse Report This Comment Date: January 20, 2015 11:21PM
Also pig fucking. Gotta love pigs.
BlahX3 Report This Comment Date: January 22, 2015 04:33PM
Not to mention all the chicken chokers and monkey spankers.
Mrkim Report This Comment Date: January 23, 2015 01:24AM
You've truly reached the pinnacle of the self gratification when you can switch
hands and ... gain a stroke :>P
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 23/01/2015 01:37AM by Mrkim.